Kwa Nini Unatamani Kubadili Tabia Lakini Huwezi?

PICHA: Coherentnews.com



HEMEDI anavuta zaidi ya ‘pakiti’ moja ya sigara kwa siku. Ingawa, mara kadhaa, amejaribu kuacha tabia hii asiyoipenda, bado hajafanikiwa. Nia ya kuacha sigara anayo lakini kuacha ameshindwa.

Unaweza kufikiri Hemedi yuko tofauti na sisi wengine. Lakini ukweli ni kwamba nasi, kwa namna tofauti, tunakabiliwa na mitihani mikubwa ya kitabia, pengine kuliko huo alionao Hemedi.  Kuna mambo fulani kwenye maisha yetu tunatamani kuyaacha lakini hatuwezi. Inawezekana ni matumizi mabaya ya fedha; kuongea kupita kiasi; hasira ya kulipuka; kusengenya na tabia nyingine tusizosipenda.

Kwa upande mwingine, tunaweza kutamani kujenga tabia mpya lakini tunashindwa. Nawafahamu watu wengi ambao kila mwaka mpya unapoanza wanajipanga kufikia malengo makubwa. Wanautazama mwaka mpya kwa mtazamo tofauti na wanatamani kuwa watu tofauti na walivyokuwa kwa mwaka uliomalizika.

Wengine wanajiapiza kuanza kusoma vitabu; wengine kufanya mazoezi ya mwili; wengine kuanza kuweka akiba ya fedha; wengine kuamka mapema na kuwahi kazini; wengine kuwahi nyumbani na kutulia na watoto. Lakini siku chache baada ya kusherehekea mwaka mpya, tabia zile zile za zamani zinarejea. Wanarudi kulekule wasikokutaka.

Mwaka huu rafiki yangu mmoja aliniambia anataka kupunguza uzito wa mwili. Hakupenda kuwa na kitambi. Juzi nilimwuliza amefikia wapi na lengo lake la kuanza kufanya mazoezi ya kukimbilia kila alfajiri mwaka huu. ‘Wiki ya kwanza nilienda vizuri. Nilijitahidi kuamka asubuhi na kukimbia. Baadae nilishindwa kuendelea kwa sababu ya maumivu ya viungo. Nilipopumzika, ndio mpaka leo.’ Alikuwa na orodha ndefu ya visingizio.

Hayuko peke yake. Ukiwa mkweli wa nafsi yako, kuna vitu ungependa kuvifanya lakini huwezi kwa sababu tu umeshindwa kujenga tabia (mazoea) mapya. Kwa kawaida, kila malengo tunayoyaweka yanaenda sambamba na mazoea mapya. Huwezi, kwa mfano, kufikia lengo la kusoma angalau kitabu kimoja kwa wiki, kama huwezi kutunza muda wako. Ukishashindwa kutunza muda wako, lengo lako haliwezi kutumia.

Kwa hiyo swali tunalohitaji kulijibu kwa uhakika ni kwamba kwa nini, mara nyingi, tunataka kujenga tabia mpya na hatuwezi? Kwa nini tunashindwa kuacha tabia fulani fulani tuzizozipenda? Shida ipo wapi?

Kuna watu wanaofikiri sababu kubwa ni kukosa utashi –nia ya dhati ya kujenga au kuacha tabia fulani. Kwamba bila kumaanisha kuacha tabia fulani huwezi kuicha hata kama huipendi. Hata hivyo, tunafahamu watu wengi, mfano wao, Hemedi niliyesimulia  kisa chake hapo awali, wanaotaka kwa dhati kuacha tabia fulani lakini hawawezi. Watu hawa, nia ya dhati wanayo, madhara ya tabia zao wanayajua, lakini kuchukua hatua ya kuacha inakuwa vigumu.

Wengine wanasema nia bila kuwa na uelewa wa madhara ya tabia husika ni vigumu kubadilika. Wanaoshikilia mtazamo kama huu wanafikiri kutangaza madhara ya tabia fulani ndio njia sahihi zaidi ya kuwashawishi watu kubadilika. Wanafikiri kinachohamasisha mabadiliko ni uelewa wa madhara.

Niliwahi kuzungumza na mhamasishaji mmoja wa kampeni dhidi ya UKIMWI/VVU. Bwana huyu alikuwa akiwaelimisha wananchi kuhusu umuhimu wa kuwa mwaminifu na kufanya ngono salama ikiwa lazima. Kimsingi alionesha uelewa wa hali ya juu kuhusu hatari ya kuwa na wapenzi wengi na kufanya ngono zembe.

Lakini nilipomfahamu baadae, nilibaini bwana huyu si tu alikuwa na foleni ndefu ya wapenzi, lakini alikuwa amezaa na wanawake kadhaa tofauti. Maana yake ni kwamba, pamoja na kuelewa hatari ya ngono isiyo salama, bwana huyu, alikuwa akifanya ngono isiyo salama. Kwa hiyo unaweza kuona kuwa uelewa pekee hautoshi kuacha tabia usiyoipenda kama ambavyo dhamira ya dhati nayo haitoshi.

Hata katika kujenga tabia mpya, nia na uelewa pekee hautoshi. Tunafahamu, kwa mfano, ni muhimu kuacha vyakula fulani fulani ili kulinda afya zetu. Tunafahamu umuhimu wa kufanya mazoezi ya mwili ili kujenga afya bora. Tunaweza kutaja faida za kutenga muda kwa ajili ya kusoma vitabu. Kwa nini, basi, hatuwezi kusimamia kile tunachotamani kukianza? Hili ndilo swali nitakaloanza nalo kwenye makala inayofuata panapo majaaliwa.

INAENDELEA

Fuatilia safu yetu ya Saikolojia kwenye gazeti la Mtanzania kila siku ya Alhamisi kwa makala kama hizi.

Maoni

  1. Tunashindwa kuacha tabia za zamani kwa sababu hatujajitambua.Tumepotelea kwenye vikundi na hatuwezi fanya uamuzi bila ya kuhusisha vikundi

    JibuFuta
  2. UFABET football betting website does not pass an agent
    an fully trust ufabet is a real money gambling site. It gives online players the opportunity to experience one of the most authentic experiences available on the online world. ufabet is a gambling site that has worked hard for you to select the most prestigious and rewarding real money casinos for our participants. And throughout the Asian region We also break down the details of the participation bets. And deposit and withdrawal methods As well as other conditions that support betting That are available to you as well as show you which casinos to avoid so that you can start winning with the highest level real money casinos today, the pros & cons of playing online casino money True, it is another quality that everyone should be concerned about. The advantages of playing online casinos with this website are By us, you can win big thanks to the personal potential of the participants and maybe even get some great support from the gambling web too, making us one step closer to success and the chance to win big. Even more This gambling website will have an offer of participation to place bets by counting every amount.
    Bets are calculated back as a commission paid back to the members for use in the next billing cycle. It is more exciting for us to have the opportunity to play free gambling. With a variety of casino games such as baccarat แทงบอล
    , blackjack, roulette, as well as sports betting, online football betting. And many others. On the downside, ufa Bet may cause us to lose money quickly if you don't play sensibly. In addition, certain processes for participating in a bet may be a little more complicated, such as making a deposit, withdrawing money, and choosing to place other special bets that may require some knowledge and skill. Increased from general gambling

    JibuFuta

Chapisha Maoni

Zilisomwa zaidi wiki hii...

Mambo Yanayoweza Kugusa Moyo wa Mwanamke-1

Ukuaji wa Kiakili na Kimwili kwa Mtoto wa Miaka 0 – 3

Maana ya Saikolojia na Nafasi Yake Katika Jamii -1

Tumia Mbinu Hizi Kuelewa Unachokisoma -3

Pay $900? I quit blogging